A mark in life - little steps first

Has anyone ever had those visions that your life went by you right before your eyes. Happens to nearly every near death experience. But what about if your going to somewhere where you KNOW it will change your life and right before you take that step toward your new life it happens. That would be cool. But alas we have time to think about these memories one by one and take fond of them. I'm just thinking that soon I'm going to go away. A 2 year mission is coming so soon that it's shockingly close. From Nov. 23rd - Jan. 21st. It's not that far. Santa will be here before i know it. And then new years will grace everyone with a second chance to redeem themselves and then start over again with everyone doing what they were doing before. But one thing remains constant. Time. (or times). The good times the bad times the small moments that shaped your days and ultimately our lives.

I'm just thinking im going to miss everything how its been and then eventually not miss it. Me being independent. Me actually getting things together for myself for once and not using my parents to get things. I hate the fact that some things i could just do myself i end up relying on my 2 awesome yet sometimes over indulgent providers. In lots of ways that has to stop. I still live with them but now I'm telling them to stop doing things for me laundry, cooking, etc... I need to learn how to do them myself or I'm pretty much crippled when I'm out there. Living the world.

What i noticed is that when i asked my mother not to do anything for me the next day i find out she made food for me, washed clothes, bought things for me that i needed. Leaving me wondering "is she ignoring my request to not do anything for me"? But then i noticed shes been taking care of me for years. 20 years. She can't stop. It's her mom habit, taking care of her kids. If I'm going to learn how to do things myself then i might as well learn fast before she has the chance to help me....... Yea after writing this now i look so less independent than i thought i was. But here's for a truly excellent start for a mark in life. Big things start in small places so lets see after a few years where i would be and look back on this blog entry and just laugh or say how pathetic i am :D . I bet a lot of people reading this is doing that right about now :/

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Life on the EDGE

Life was insane today. I'm going on my religious mission soon, heading toward Spokane, Washington for a 2 whole years in FULL!!! And all i heard when i went to church is how beautiful it was, and toward the end of the day i heard how dangerous it is can be and potentially is now. Though if it is dangerous. I want to go at it FULL ON!!! To be quite honestly honest because it was dangerous is the whole reason i wanted to go. People think I'm insane for wanting this but does it matter. They clearly don't understand why that when there's danger with doing with what is right there is also Valor found. More and more that i see when i was growing up people doing dangerous things but yet for the right reason i found in them something i don't see in people often. A personality trait that says it doesn't matter what comes to me I'll die to do these things i must try to do. How can anyone shy away from doing something like that. I seen this only in a handful of people and yet i completely marvel at them being the way they are.

I think this is the reason that Japan is so proud of the their medieval era that it was the age of the samurai with their morals and strong sense of righteousness and their epic wisdom. Its no wonder that even in the states its becoming famous that fans of history or generally anime come to admire it as much as the japanese (maybe more).

The point is i'm going for valor. Either to see it, or more importantly to experience it. May my 2 years be the most awesomest time of my life. Cheers!

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